Well, I guess I’m going to try and be kinda healthy-ish? My obsession is like a manic teeter-totter. One day I’m fasting and running and surviving on coffee and cigarettes, and the next I’m planning out the best way to eat 6 healthy meals a day. Grumble.
Well, I’ve decided to do a little bit of both. I’m getting up everyday to get breakfast, and I can eat whatever I want, but only one serving, and only one plate. Veggie omelet takes up the entire plate? Nothing else. I also try to include beverages on my plate, since I usually use a little creamer in my coffee. And as for after breakfast, I can’t break 500 calories, and I have to do a short rotation of ab and leg exercises.
Eh? Eh? Also, this makes it so I lose weight a little… slowly… Since I know David would notice if it was too rapid, and he wouldn’t be happy. I really just want to look super sexy in my Halloween costume. It’s the first time EVER IN MY LIFE that I’ve decided to dress up like a Halloween Whore. I really just want David to be able to have someone attractive to show off. He’s sooo good looking (drool). I’m wearing a corset, so the belly isn’t to big of an issue, but I’m wearing a little tutu thing. I need tighter thighs.
Boobooboo.
Overslept and missed my first class. I wish it wasn’t one related to my major » Anyway, I found an exercise buddy! I’m so happy! My friend Megan asked me if I would do random workouts with her everyday. Woo! We’re doing abs tonight, and I’m hella excited to feel the burn.
Intake:
Coffee! <5
And I intend to eat a nice, big salad for dinner when I get around to it. I have to make up for my binge yesterday. :x
Fucking Mexican food. At least it goes right through me, so I don’t need to use a laxy! Ah, poop humor.
Well, my darling followers, back to the hospital I went. Wasn’t even underweight! Not even close! I felt so, so goddamn fat. I’m in the eating disorder unit, and I weighed at LEAST 40 pounds more than any girl in there! However, I moved out into a dorm. I live with a tubby moon-face, but she doesn’t know how skinny people eat in general, so even when I’m pigging, she acts like I don’t eat enough. Psht. I feel bad for putting my daddy through this, but I can’t stop myself.
“I really like tiny girls.”
It just won’t stop dancing through my head. I miss him. Oh Gods do I miss him. I saw David the first weekend back to school, and all the months of waiting were finally worth it. He calls me ‘Mrs. Pierre’ and introduces me as his ‘wonderful lady.’ He’s really just wonderful… I feel like the luckiest woman alive to have him beside me. Even through all this shit, he just held on. “You’re so perfect, you’re so perfect. You’re so precious to me.”
I don’t want to stop. I just don’t want to die anymore. What a predicament.
Who wants to learn this with me? :)
Thanks everyone for all of your follows/likes/reblogs! Just got off work, so I still need to do all of the exercising… Woo!
Has anyone noticed a panic-y feeling when you start restricting a lot? I think I’m going to start straying towards the healthier way of weight loss for now. Cue: focus on portion size and eating better. Also, I’ve been looking up live performances of pop groups to start dancing again. Not really the swiftest way to burn calories, but I LOOOVVEEE doing it. I think my favorite would be Girls’ Generation, which is a korean group. Not very complicated, but my coordination is lacking. Also, I always just feel like a silly white-girl/cardboard box whenever I do hip-hop. Siigghh.
Keep all of your responses going :) I can’t wait until I break 3500 calories on my Make Me Sweat project.
<3
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